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November 29, 2006

Since you asked

CW sends ABC solutions for Iraq
We've come a long way in a month. Now the mainstream press is asking the public at large for their ideas on fixing Iraq. Having blogged on this very topic several times in the past over the last four years I have my points all numbered and ready to go.

  1. Drop trou. The Iraqis themselves showed us exactly how to "disappear" an entire army by simply losing the uniform. Then adjust your troop levels at will. Some could be sent home while others, disguised in robes and burqas remain behind to eventuate positive change (see number two).
  2. Ratchet up and reverse the rumor mill. The reason civil wars are so uncivilized is because daily discourse becomes uncivil to the point where people are killing each other, and it's personal. American forces, under cover, would have a mission to reverse ill will and replace it with goodwill by means of flattery, perjury, mis- and disinformation to keep the enemies off-balance. When one enemy reads that another is quoted in the newspaper as admitting he's a terrible adversary, on the one hand, but on the other, probably the best singer in all Baghdad, the first enemy is disarmed and will, if not immediately, eventually return fire in like manner, perhaps commenting on his rival's cunning, or his delightful sense of humor.
  3. Cut Iraqi into three countries. Give the north to the Kurds, west of the river to the Sunnis, east of the river to the Shia. This could halt the civil war in its tracks and would likely be the end result of war anyway. Getting it over with would allow them to get on with rebuilding their own new countries.

Regarding the United States and its "interests," which are actually the interests of Halliburton, it would be wise to whistle and leave quietly and behave nicely knowing that a trial for war crimes is only an indictment away.

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