Genital Watch Expands

The streets adjoining Rodeo Drive are cocked with pockets of paparazzi, ready at the first whiff to tear after the passing vagina of Britney Spears. Twice this week, on two separate occasions, the first with her sponsor, Paris Hilton, the second while alone at a gas station (yes, she gassed her own car), Britney Spears, former pop star and mother of two, purposely revealed her naked genitals to the general public and anyone else who might be interested, including, someday, her children. It was a trend begun by Paris Hilton (although many men in prison today would argue with that). But while Britney may be a va-johnny-come-lately, her participation itself is a powerful endorsement of casual flashing that will influence millions of young women to do the same. Hygiene, bygiene. With civil war raging in Iraq, this is welcome news. It's good to see somebody smiling, even if it's vertical. After Abu Ghraib, we can't be shocked. Islam may require women to cover their faces, but over here we think they take things too far. Our women show all their rosy cheeks. The labia is the new cleavage. While the reasons for this shift are complex and profound, it has less to do with alcoholism than may appear at first blush. Scientists believe (remind me to add that to my Wordkill Wishlist) that flashing is a desperate bid for attention by self hating egomaniacs, which puts former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld at the top of the watch list.